Allison Leah - sorry for myself

April 08, 2022

At the end of November, I told you "How Allison Leah changed my life", and how much her song "24 Years Down" had challenged my time management, when I was ready to sink into a devastating digital addiction. The song was then like a nice reminder about time passing and passing too quickly.

Allison, whom I have already known for 4 years, is a pure artist, and whose human qualities shine through her songs. Her writing is not fanciful: she expresses through her lyrics her most raw feelings, whether positive or negative. But each time, she hits the middle of the target, without being fully aware of it. Because, I'm sure if you ask Allison where this talent comes from, she will probably tell you "I don't know". But any artist will tell you that there is nothing more gratifying in the world than one of their songs manages to touch people deeply, to the point of changing their outlook on things.

Allison is back! The theme of her new single "sorry for myself", out today, is forgiveness. There is certainly the forgiveness that one can have towards others, but also the forgiveness that one grants to oneself. And this is perhaps the most important thing: forgiving yourself makes it easier to forgive others.

I happened to talk on this blog about the toxic relationship I had with my mother throughout my life. A relationship where she had total control over my life, and the least of my decisions. So I had a lot of anger at one point, then I learned to put things into perspective. I blamed myself for not having reacted sooner and for not having distanced myself when the storm started to hit. And as Allison says so well at the end of her chorus: "Now you want me to say sorry, I'm just sorry for myself". Last year, I therefore distanced myself from this relationship that was more dangerous than beneficial. This is why the line "So easily you treated me, So carelessly so I had to leave" really spoke to me. Not wanting to listen to me about her health problems, I fought tirelessly against a demon, whose sole purpose was to drain me of my emotions, like a sponge being twisted until it there is no water at all. Almost every line of the song brings me back to those past trials, like "Tried to see the best in you through your flaws, wrapped me up in games and played me like a pawn". It's exactly that. A pawn. Sometimes even a puppet. Until my phone rang on March 31 for the hospital to tell me that my mom was in a coma. I had the impression of sitting down at a poker table, and starting to play cards, with the only opponents around the table: my emotions. First, sadness. Because of course, she's my mom, and we only have one. Then the guilt. Because I wondered if I could have continued to fight with her to convince her to heal, instead of retreating cowardly. And finally, anger. Because after all, it's just the continuity of a lifetime of battle, where the smallest insignificant detail grows out of proportion and important things like health fade into the background.

It is precisely this anger that we find in "sorry for myself". Our dear friend Luna Keller often says that her songs are her friends. She can put all her emotions into it. And I think that for Allison and this new single, we can talk about punching bag and letting off steam. As if it was time now to say everything she's been holding back for too long. And time to end this relationship, feeling sorry for yourself. Managing emotions is probably the hardest thing in the world. Because the world is governed only by emotions, which then provoke decision-making. And Allison, who already proved it in "24 Years Down", perfectly masters her emotions, and her songs are a bit like a reel of thread that we unwind, to know the rest of the story.

Allison is a person of rare quality, who quickly understands how the world around her works. She analyzes every aspect of it, and that's what makes her writing refined, precise, and always touches the deepest part of the listener. In a very pop genre, and with a very detailed production, "sorry for myself" is the kind of song that makes you feel better. In the logical continuation of "What I'm Missing" and "24 Years Down", this new single allows us to know the singer in more detail, her battles, her fears, and her strengths. And makes us realize that in the end, we are all the same. Facing the same battles of opposing feelings.

My story is probably not an isolated case. It is very likely that this song will speak to many of you. Because we all know this kind of storm one day or another, where emotions will clash like in a boxing ring. "sorry for myself" is a gem of interpretation. The verses are interpreted in a calm way as if to take a step back from the situation and explain things calmly, while Allison's voice is more powerful in the choruses as if to express her anger and also let go. Despite rather dark writing, the song remains very luminous and can even be considered an empowering anthem, as Jacqueline Loor could have released. I sincerely think that, of all the songs Allison has released so far, this is the one that has allowed her to make peace with herself. And to prove that, as an artist, she rocks.

Reach out to Allison Leah

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Written with love by Niko. "sorry for myself" has been added to our "Indie Music" playlist on Spotify.


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